Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
