heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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