I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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