Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize