I want to stick my p in your. b.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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