I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize