do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?