hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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