He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
