I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
