FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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