this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
is wine microwaveable?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
