Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
