You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
