How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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