please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
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i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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