I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
