god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize