you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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