i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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