can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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