thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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