her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
