oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
