CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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