i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
