Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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