You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
