I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
