If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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