Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
