Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
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I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
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He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize