I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
