My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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