I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
