Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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