Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
