Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize