I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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