The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
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why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
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I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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