watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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