i think my mom watched the whole time
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
