i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
