New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
