Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
