I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
