Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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