Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
