Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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