ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
