oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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