I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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