Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
