I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
