Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
