My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
