why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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