And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
