still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
