Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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