how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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